country town

i dreamed that i lived in a country town last night
i was a recluse
what's new
i stayed in my room
a lot
i was really into painting again
it was nice
i had a room in my window
i lived on the second floor
in a house that was surrounded by trees
the backyard was not
the backyard was empty
except for a barren clothes line
the back yard was a wheat field
the sunset
were watercolors
they were fucking unbelievable
mostly orange and blue melting
into one another across the sky
as if a sunset could happen
in another place
my mother entered the room
her hands are folded
wearing this god awful pleated dress
i loathe pleats
she enter my room only to trip and fall
on her knees
in front of my closet
she doesn't bother getting up
she stays on her knees
she has come to see the sunset
she has come to see
something else
she's as melancholy as the wind
she loathes cats
in my window
are the most ridiculous cat figurines
all of them are waving high
they don't face me
they face the wheat
mommy smiles
a dead cat on the clothes line passes my window
then another
then another
this one calico
the next one black with playful white socks
i wake up
and the first thing i remember is the sunset in the dream
and my bed spreads in the dream
one was a quilt
i knew this asshole who loved quilts
and the other one was my grandmother's knitted afghan
her yellow, brown, green, zig zag knitted afghan
i thought of the beautiful sunset i subconsciously painted
and i smiled.